[feature]

Brains and Beauty

Exclusive interview with Miss Heilala 2007 Tessi Toluta'u and Miss Heilala 2006 Sina Nauahi.



[Photo: left: Miss Heilala 2007 Tessi Toluta'u and Miss Heilala 2006 Sina Nauahi]

PEM: What do you feel has been the most difficult challenge you have faced or are currently facing as a teenager?

Tessi: I think that until recently, I really struggled with my cultural identity. I am half-cast, my mom is palangi and my dad is Tongan. I kind of felt like I grew up in the middle; I wasn’t enough Tongan and I wasn’t enough palangi. I grew up in the middle of both cultures, so the hardest thing for me was trying to find out who I am culturally, mostly where I fit in, what I accepted, what I agreed or disagreed with. One of the biggest struggles for me growing up in a multicultural community is really finding out who you are according to your own culture. Growing up I was really proud to be Tongan but I never really understood what it meant to be Tongan until a lot of things that have happened within the last couple of years. I always hung around with Samoans, Hawaiians and Tongans and I was never constantly around Tongans or constantly around palangis and so coming in touch with my own culture was probably one of the hardest things because I felt like I was spread out everywhere.

Sina: I am on the same page with Tessi as well about getting to know more about my Tongan side, especially all the things that my mom taught me when I was a child. I never fully understood it until I came to Tonga last year. I am not sure what it was, but it was just being here in Tonga and being around my mom and being around the family that I realized what she had been trying to teach me all this time that I didn’t understand when I was growing up. I finally began to understand after being here the things that my mom had to go through in raising me and trying to teach me about the Tongan culture. It finally made sense when I was here. I began to understand more about myself and what my parents have taught me.

Tessi: Anytime I go to a cultural function where I hear Tongans singing or dancing, I feel something in my heart that tells me that I am Tongan and that I am proud to be Tongan. It wasn’t until recently when I was talking to someone that I hold very dear to my heart that was explaining to me that being Tongan doesn’t necessarily mean that you speak and understand the language. It’s that you feel of the culture and you understand the cultural value of being Tongan, which includes respect and all the values we hold in our culture. It took someone to tell me that “you know…you are Tongan…you inherited that in your blood.” Other people may make you feel like you are not Tongan enough, but deep within in your heart you know that you are and that what’s flowing in your blood is Tongan and you can’t change that. I had a really hard time feeling like I was accepted because I don’t speak fluent Tongan and I understand very little, but that doesn’t mean that I am not Tongan. I hope that people can tell in my actions that I am Tongan.

Sina: Yes, just because we don’t live in Tonga or we don’t talk in Tongan or we don’t look Tongan doesn’t make us less Tongan. I got a lot of bad feedback last year when I won the Miss Heilala title from people who felt that I was too young, that I didn’t look Tongan, and that I was not Tongan enough. What does that mean for people to say that someone is not Tongan enough? I am Tongan, my mother is Tongan and I am very proud to be Tongan.

Tessi: I think a lot of the youth today are struggling with identity and trying to know who they are, and that’s when they become susceptible to other things, the outside negative influences, the western influence because they are not culturally tied to their own culture and it makes them more open to other influences and that’s kind of how I was until I realized that I am Tongan, my dad is Tongan, my grandparents are Tongan, my ancestors are Tongan and that’s in my blood!

< back | next >